


Tim Drake and the Subject of Coffee

by Sehin



Series: November 2020 One-Shots [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Anti-Coffee Lover Tim Drake, Bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Coffee, Mentioned Barbara Gordon, Not Beta Read, Sarcastic Tim Drake, Tim Drake Needs Sleep, Tim Drake is Robin, Where did the fans get the idea Tim was a coffee addict anyway?, Who leaves an 8-year-old home alone with Coffee?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27398692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sehin/pseuds/Sehin
Summary: A late night because idiots run Arkham Asylum and an early meeting means Bruce Wayne seeks the elixir known as coffee. And Alfred is quite put out when the new Robin walks in with an energy drink at seven am in the morning.Turns out though that Tim Drake has a low opinion of coffee.Brilliant parenting by Mr. Jack and Mrs. Janet Drake, ladies and gentlemen and other readers.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Series: November 2020 One-Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994803
Comments: 4
Kudos: 111





	Tim Drake and the Subject of Coffee

It had been a late night.

Some fool at Arkham had allowed Riddler to get of early and Bruce along with Barbara and Tim had spent much of their Thursday night into Friday morning dealing that latest escapade. This left the Dark Knight with only three hours to sleep for an early meeting, meaning Batman would need coffee practically all morning to stay awake.  
Alfred, bless his heart, made sure the first one was waiting for Bruce as he walked into the kitchen that morning, putting on his suit jacket as he made his way through the door and closing it behind him.

"Good morning, Master Bruce." Alfred spoke as the younger man made for the steamy cup.

After taking a long sip and allowing a moment for the caffeine to kick in, he took a seat at the stool in front of him. "Morning, Alfred. Is everything ready for today?"

The older butler smiled. "If this meeting wasn't as important, I'd have allowed you to sleep in further. But alas, coffee will be your companion today, I fear."

Bruce chuckled. "So it would seem. I suppose I should have my secretary keep them lined up before -"

The noise of the kitchen door opening cut Bruce off as Tim walked in, barely avoiding colliding into the counter, trying to keep his eyes open and an energy drink in his right hand. The fourteen year old made it to a stool next to his mentor and immediately placed his head in his arms.

"My word, Master Tim." Alfred started. "Energy drinks at seven am in the morning is not good for you."

"So is being a teenage vigilant who has school this morning." Tim replied, sarcastically. "But here we are?"

That solicited a chuckle from both men. Tim's filter was lost when he was sleep deprived and he was rather sarcastic when he could be. It was one of the few things about the teen that would be considered normal and endearing.

Tim's head peaked up from his arms and his face screwed up. "Is that coffee I smell?"

Bruce looked at his cup. "Of course. Probably more healthy than your energy drinks."

"Though a full stomach of food is probably more healthy with such a drink." Alfred replied. "Shall I make you a cup?"

Tim shook his head. "No thanks. Coffee tastes as bad as it smells. And I know what the side effects can do."

Bruce looked at the teen with concern. "That sounds like a voice of experience, Tim."

"Indeed, Master Bruce." Alfred said. "When did that happen?"

Tim sighed. "During one of my parents' many, many absences, I got into their coffee, mistaking it for hot chocolate when I was eight. I thought it was an exotic type of chocolate because of the taste and smell so I made a big cup so I could do my homework before I went to sleep. The babysitter had already left for the night." The teen shuddered for a moment. "Mrs Mac found me in one of the guest rooms trying to rearrange everything to suit me the next morning when she came around and then I blacked out. Figured I overloaded."

_Ah, the brilliant parenting of Mr. Jack and Mrs. Janet Drake_ , Bruce sighed. It was a miracle this boy made it to his age let alone stalk Batman and Robin for years without being noticed.

Tim took a sip of his energy drink. "I swore off coffee when I woke up and managed to convince Mrs Mac that I didn't get into it and replaced it out of my allowance. Mum and Dad were none the wiser for three years until I let slip when they forced to take a cup to get through one of their private parties." The teen chuckled. "And the results led them to lock away the coffee for good."

"So no cups for you then?" Bruce asked.

"No thanks," Tim replied. "I barely tolerate the smell but as long as I don't have to drink it, it's fine."

Alfred nodded. "That is good to know, Master Tim. Though I would never recommend energy drinks as a replacement."

Tim shrugged. "Whatever works, Alfred. I did my best work when I was on my fifth energy drink. At least I don't try to make a sitting room warmer by building a bonfire in the middle of it while there were still people in it."

A quick glance between Bruce and Alfred meant they had the same look. _Thank God we got to him before someone_ _else._ Both thought at the same time. _In another's hands, he'd be a dangerous supervillain indeed._

Tim finished his can and stood up. "Guess I better get ready for school."

Bruce shook his head. "I think you should stay here with Alfred for the rest of the day. I'll let the school know you aren't feeling well so you can catch up on sleep."

The teen chuckled. "Just make sure it's a better lie than my other so-called guardians said last time they tried." Tim replied as he sat down again, having decided that gravity and he weren't ready for vertical at all. "I still think the bubonic plague was the best. The teachers really had a field day when I got there the next day."

"You probably didn't help the situation did you, Master Tim?" Alfred said.

"She was planning to steal my grandfather's war medals while I was at school. Not like I was going to let her get away with it." Tim then pondered for a second. "I think she tried to slip me something too but she used coffee instead of chocolate for that drink. I think she's serving a ten year sentence for attempted kidnapping of another girl she was looking after."

Bruce remembered that case, and then remembering seeing Tim's name on the list of the young woman's clientele list. _Small world._

"It won't be as unbelievable, Tim." The smartly-dressed Dark Knight said. "I've had to made a number of lies to help get Dick and Jason out of trouble and the paperwork to prove it."

Tim chuckled. "Would love to see that stuff."

"After you sleep, Master Tim," Alfred said. "I will wake you up in five hours, now scoot."

The teen stood up. "Okay, Alfred," he replied as headed for the door, stopping to turn to Bruce. "Be careful at work, Bruce. Remember, coffee is not always your friend." Tim then chuckled again as he made his way back to the spare room he was sleeping in.

Bruce sighed. "I swear that boy is going to give me a heart attack one day."

Alfred couldn't help but snort. "It seems Masters Dick and Jason weren't quite as surprising in comparison to Master Tim," he said as he began working on a second cup for Bruce. "But we don't regret his presence at all."

The Dark Knight gave a small laugh as he took his next cup of coffee. It was true that Tim had brought back life to the family lost since the tragedy of Barbara's maiming and Jason's death at the hands of the Joker, perhaps even before hand. That boy was a stability and Bruce had a feeling that it would definitely continue to be useful everyday.

"Just as long as coffee and he don't interact," Bruce replied. "I'm sure we'll be perfectly fine. Come to think of it, coffee does smell and taste awful, doesn't it, Alfred?"

"Indeed, Master Bruce, but I never realised it until now."

The laughs that came out of the kitchen, filtered through several doors, still made their way to a slumbering Tim, who drifted back to sleep feeling happy that at least there was life in this household, even if it had to be sustained by that awful coffee.

_Never again_ , Tim's final thoughts were. _Never again..._

**Author's Note:**

> To date, I have never seen Tim Drake being the coffee addict fans seem to think he is. So I decided on different take on Tim Drake and coffee.
> 
> I may have exaggerated the side effects it had on Tim, but considering that he was chasing Batman and Robin around Gotham City from an early age why not give him the overload of a lifetime and the awful shutdowns afterwards.
> 
> And yes, I happen to think coffee tastes awful and smells disgusting but I'm not going to hold that against anyone. Apparently my own experience with coffee, that I don't remember (much like most of my childhood really), led me to climb a wall and succeed. So I guess I overloaded too. Tea and Hot Chocolate are my companions to this.
> 
> Anyway, leave me a kudos and/or review. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think. Do you think Tim is a coffee addict in canon or is that a fanon thing? And what interesting experiences have you had with coffee.
> 
> See you tomorrow for another fanfic. Who knows what my head will come up with after I plan to get a full eight hour sleep instead of a five to six-and-a-half hour sleep ;)


End file.
